Since future husband and me where given the news, that the chances are next to zero for me to get pregnant naturally, my view has changed.

When we didn’t know that I couldn’t get pregnant the natural, easy peasy fun and hot way, I would always say “of course she is pregnant” when someone on social media would announce their happy news.

However now every time I see something like that or when I see mothers with their little flock of “ducklings” my first thought is:

“You are so lucky!” And they indeed are and I envy them!

I know it sounds a bit like I have given up and maybe I did.

We are waiting for an appointment at the fertility unit… and there is the first hack: We are not the only ones. It can take weeks, many weeks to get one, probably followed by another few weeks waiting for further tests. Tests we have to pay ourselves I might add. And money is tight nowadays.

And waiting patiently is not really my strong side. I will be 43 years old this month, there is not much time left for me, never mind patience.

The next hack could be to get told that there is no chance for me to get pregnant. And that’s it: I don’t want to put my life on hold hoping for something that might not happen.

I’d like to keep myself preoccupied with running, but running where I live?! Country roads is what I face here. I am not a road runner, I am a trail and mountain runner and due to work and family commitments I can’t just get in the car before work (not enough time) or after work (my children).

You feel my dilemma?!

Well where I come from is a funny saying:

“Keep your ears stiff!”

Which means “stay strong!”

So I guess that’s what I will do, I’ll keep my ears stiff and hope for the best!

Until the next time…