In more than one situation I found myself as the green-eyed monster. I find that awful but can’t help it.
Every now and again, future husband jokes about things. Things I can’t find funny at all and every time I have to swallow my jealousy! But deep inside I am as green as a cucumber.
For example we where talking about situations when a man/woman ogles someone else in their partners present. And instead of either ignoring my comment or saying that , yes, that is not appropriate, he laughed and said:
“Don’t worry darling, I only do that when you are not there”.
Or little things that annoy me like when the radio is on and there is a female singer and he says:
“Ooooh I like a little bit of XY”.
I know it is silly but at those moments I feel very little, inadequate and not good enough! And I want to knock other women teeth out when they smile a bit too much at my men. Oooh that would really satisfy in those moments. But of course it would take a lot more to loose my shit.
It might just be him making fun or it could be that I am really not enough for him.
I should know, I am the Queen of Flirting!
I did it my whole life but put a stop to it now, because it caused me nothing but trouble in the past.
Now it feels like karma finally bites me in the ass and I don’t like it one bit.
Keep breathing, keep breathing…
Until the next time