Category: Beauty

Perceptions

It is often a funny and interesting thing how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.

Here are some of my examples:

Future husband calls my dress code “geeky”, I call it stylish!

When I left my ex husband I left my children with him as we concluded this is in the children’s best interest and for them to get used to the idea that they soon will have two homes. My parents and all my mother sides family think I left them because of future husband and no matter the circumstances, children always belong to the mother!

My boss thinks I am rude. I am not rude, I just don’t sugar coat thinks and get straight to the point! BIG difference!

Most women don’t like me as they think I am a threat to their relationship. I am no threat, I am just a guys girl who can take a joke and buddy up without any sexual background.

The list goes on and on…

What I want to say is:

What others think of you doesn’t really matter as long as you are happy with yourself and your actions.

And I am pretty happy with who I am. I made it in this world so far, and I will make it even further.

Until the next time…

Health Update

So after I suffered like a dog from headaches that lasted more than 5 weeks and a sore throat, I am finally on the mend.

Since 3 different doctors diagnosed me with 3 different things, I can’t really tell what it was. All I know is, that my headaches got less and finally have gone and my throat only hurts a bit when I touch it.

My iron levels are getting back to normal as I am not as tired anymore.

Last Friday I started an exercise streak to finally get back to my former self and my routine.

Every morning my beloved Lumie alarm clock wakes me up at 5:45am. I take 15 minutes to get through my emails, the weather, my bank (even though it brings crocodile tears to my eyes) and world news. After that I am up and in my sport gear, my 8kg kettlebell, yoga mat and 20kg sand sack out for up to an hour of training, stretching, huffing and puffing!

I know it has only been a few days, but even though there are no visible changes yet, I feel and sleep so much better.

I will stick to it for a month and after that my cardiovascular system and strength in my legs will have improved enough to get back out on the trails. After that it will be a constant mix of both, which means I hopefully will be able to continue my streak.

Mental health is so important and one big factor for me was always sport.

So here I am, marching on.

Until the next time….

Baby Boom- You Are So Lucky

Since future husband and me where given the news, that the chances are next to zero for me to get pregnant naturally, my view has changed.

When we didn’t know that I couldn’t get pregnant the natural, easy peasy fun and hot way, I would always say “of course she is pregnant” when someone on social media would announce their happy news.

However now every time I see something like that or when I see mothers with their little flock of “ducklings” my first thought is:

“You are so lucky!” And they indeed are and I envy them!

I know it sounds a bit like I have given up and maybe I did.

We are waiting for an appointment at the fertility unit… and there is the first hack: We are not the only ones. It can take weeks, many weeks to get one, probably followed by another few weeks waiting for further tests. Tests we have to pay ourselves I might add. And money is tight nowadays.

And waiting patiently is not really my strong side. I will be 43 years old this month, there is not much time left for me, never mind patience.

The next hack could be to get told that there is no chance for me to get pregnant. And that’s it: I don’t want to put my life on hold hoping for something that might not happen.

I’d like to keep myself preoccupied with running, but running where I live?! Country roads is what I face here. I am not a road runner, I am a trail and mountain runner and due to work and family commitments I can’t just get in the car before work (not enough time) or after work (my children).

You feel my dilemma?!

Well where I come from is a funny saying:

“Keep your ears stiff!”

Which means “stay strong!”

So I guess that’s what I will do, I’ll keep my ears stiff and hope for the best!

Until the next time…

Why I Say “Yes” Instead Of “No”

At least once per week, I have a conversation with future husband about me not sticking to what I say to my children.

The thing is, parents say “no” more often than its actually necessary!

When I grew up, all I heard from my mother was “no”. All. The. Time.

If someone would have given me the chance to choose where to live, let me tell you, it wouldn’t have been my parents house!

There was no love and affection. Fair enough, we had our moments where I thought that they do love me after all, but that was always crushed fairly shortly.

So to me it is not a big deal to say yes, instead of no. I shower my children with love and affection and tell them how beautiful they are and that I love them and I cuddle with them and take them out to do things…

All the things my parents never did.

Very often I feel bad because I can’t buy them things that are costly or that they have to share a room, but I am sure when they are grown up one day, they won’t mind. What they (hopefully) will remember is the love and support they had and continue to have until I stop breathing!

A “yes” doesn’t hurt anyone, right?!

Until the next time…

Iron Deficiency

I am sitting here on my sofa on my day off and all I want to do is curl up like a shrimp and sleep the day away.

There is nothing but fatigue. I don’t even exercise and I feel frozen like a lollipop!

My iron levels must be extremely low.

A few months back, my doctor discovered that my levels are down and prescribed me tablets, but I thought with a healthy diet I would get back on track and so I dismissed the tablets.

Wrong!

I didn’t. Because of a lot of things that impacted me in a negative way, all I wanted was comfort food and we all know, that comfort food is very often not the healthiest choice.

So here I am, feeling sorry for myself once more.

But it isn’t all bad. My supplement arrived today and Mr. Google said, that I should see results within two weeks.

So prayers to the Gods and fingers crossed as I can’t go on like this. I constantly feel like someone kicked me in the head and if I could, I would be in bed by 7pm.

And I really need to get better as my job and where I live is quite depressing, so I need to be able to exercise, train for races and get me ass off the sofa! Anything really to develop a better mindset!

Until the next time…

Un-Pregnant Effing Valentine’s Day!!!

Today is Valentine’s Day. Did I enjoy it so far? Not really!

So far I left early to get the food shopping done before work, went to work, fortunately finished by just after 11am, went home, tidied up, did 3 rounds of washing, exercised, fixed holes on clothes and dog bed, picked up children from school, made tea…and the day is not over, yet.

Future husband (that’s if he still wants me) got me some lovely cashmere tops and a card, I in return got him a hoodie and no card as cards are not my thing. He is still out working (new job). I am still stuck with my job as a carer and am job hunting without success.

I still live in a house which I refer to as the “ice house” as it is really cold without radiators on, in an area I hate.

I wouldn’t mind all the above, if I was pregnant. That is the only thing I really desire!

We have been trying for over a year now. Every month I hope anew and every month shark week arrives once again. Twice I have been pregnant but miscarried in the first trimester. And when people say, you just have to relax, I want to rip their heads off! I am soon 43 years old. I don’t have time to relax as time is literally running out!

The other day I checked fertility treatments and since I am not eligible for NHS treatment (too old, already have children), the chances to pay for treatment myself is next zero. I can’t just pull out £5.000,- for IVF… IUI is “only” plus minus £1.000,-.

And wherever I go, whatever I watch, whatever I read in the news, everyone is pregnant. Or so it seems.

So yeah, here I am sitting in my living room, feeling all sorry for myself despite the fact I am not the only one going through things.

Until the next time…

I Am Grateful…

…for a lot of things but most of all for the people who walked with me for a while.

I am grateful for past best friends. We walked our separate ways at some point, but we did have a hell lot of fun!

I am grateful for my current best friends, even though they are oceans away and yet so close if we needs be!

I am grateful for the times my oldest daughter and me spend together before she got so angry with me, that she didn’t want me in her life anymore!

I am so so grateful for all the wise words, hugs and eternal love my grandma had for me, there isn’t a day I don’t think of her!

I am grateful for future husband as every time he hugs me it’s a reminder that he is home.

I am grateful for my children, they taught me to love.

And I am grateful for the ability to not take life too serious.

Until the next time…

Till Death Do Us Part?

Today I watched the latest episode of “And Just Like That” and Carry said something like “…technically I am not married anymore…my husband died…”

I was thinking about future husband. If he died before me, I would still believe and see myself as married to him. Which reminds me of something a client said to me a few days ago:

She said “…my husband died 18 years ago and there isn’t a day where I don’t think about him and I miss him every day…” She said “my husband” even though he died such a long time ago, she still sees herself as his wife. Not even death could part them.

Which is so bitter sweet. That is what I want for myself and this is what I would wish for everyone else on this planet.

Until the next time…

Serious Face Cleanser Problem

Do you think 13 (yes, I know there are 15 on the above pic, but two ended in the bin) face cleansers are too many?

I start to believe it is, someone should confiscate my bankcard, credit card and change my PayPal password!

It’s not even my fault. It’s the Korean online shops and their never ending offers fault!!! Yep.

BUT, I do love a good face cleanser and as you can see, I have a bit of an obsession.

So let me give you some insight and review for the ones I used so far.

My skin is sensitive and combination… so let’s start from top left to bottom right.

  1. 1. Zero cleansing balm, pure and original: They are both great. Gentle to skin, slight smell, leaves skin clean and not tight. Love it!
  2. 2. The Face Shop foaming rice cleanser: Smells lovely, cleans skin, but very harsh for sensitive skin, stings after a few seconds. Don’t love it!
  3. 3. Tosowoong enzyme powder: No smell, cleans skin squeaky clean, no tight feeling. Love it!
  4. 4. Kose cleansing oil: No smell, cleans everything off your skin, very gentle. Love it!
  5. 5. Neogen pore tightening mouse: Have not tried it, yet. Bought it because of the good reviews.
  6. 6. Isntree hyaluronic cleanser: Made me break out after only one use. Hate it! Went into the bin.
  7. 7. Glamfox Rosehip Oil cleanser: Very harsh, stung after a few seconds, left skin tight. Hate it! Went into the bin.
  8. 8. Klairs cleansing foam: Weird smell, something between citrus and chemical, but gentle to skin and cleans well. Like it!
  9. 9. Jolse Matcha cleansing foam: No smell, cleans well, skin not tight, but doesn’t do much else. Meh!
  10. 10. Whamisa foaming cleanser: Extreme smell of lavender, cleans well, but skin a bit tight. Wouldn’t buy it again! Meh!

The last 4 are HadaLabo oil cleanser, papaya enzyme cleanser, another oil and foam cleanser I haven’t tried yet.

There are so many products on the Korean market, you just have to try (most) of them to find your holy grail and even if and when you do, there will be another new one you can’t resist to buy!

Until the next time…

Korean Online Shops Reviews

When you get older and discover fine lines on your face, you want nothing but the best skincare, right?

Well with “best skincare” often comes a price. At least with western skincare products!

Also there are certain steps you should do when it comes to apply skincare. Until recently I was too lazy to do an at least 4 step skincare regime and I thought, surely a moisturiser should be enough?

My skin and me where always in disagreement. When I was a teenager, my skin was extremely oily and spotty due to unhealthy diet and undiagnosed gluten and lactose intolerance.

Now my skin is more of a combination skin and very sensitive.

So to keep a long story short, I have the all well known oily t-zone and dry cheeks. When I use a new product, it can happen that I break out due to my skin being very sensitive.

Which brings me to Korean skincare. In Korean skincare it’s mainly all about hydration and natural ingredients, but the best is the PRICE! But I get to that in another post.

Now here I want to review my personal experience on Korean online shops, so let’s start with:

1: Jolse

https://jolse.com/?cafe_mkt=google_en_kw&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpJiq0qGE9QIVsYFQBh16jwACEAAYASAAEgLjuPD_BwE

Jolse is a Korean beauty website in the US if I am not mistaken. The website is easy to navigate, check-out smooth, great deals, especially the time deals and depending on how much you spend, free postage. Delivery time from the US to Scotland standard delivery took only one week! No extra costs AND, and that is the best bit: FREE SAMPLES! If you have sensitive skin like me, you want to try samples before you buy the actual product!

2: STYLEVANA https://www.stylevana.com/en_GB/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=9000571848&utm_term=91654135355&device=c&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4v3q66SE9QIVwevtCh2hnAlEEAAYASAAEgKXsvD_BwE

STYLEVANA ships from Korea and it takes around 3 weeks to Scotland, insured shipping. But also offers express shipping.

Once you are a member and re-ordered, you get more discounts, points and credit for your next purchase.

I like to order from this side mainly because they sell shampoo, but they too, have great deals on other products.

Website, check-out is easy to navigate.

3: Puresoul https://pureseoul.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIybSbr6aE9QIVRLDtCh0dEQ3JEAAYASAAEgKGC_D_BwE

Puresoul is a UK based Korean online shop. Prices are slightly higher, but therefor you get your order within a week. So if you don’t want to wait, and they sell the item you are looking for, I would recommend this side. They also offer some deals. Website and check-out easy to navigate, some samples as well.

4: Skinsider https://skinsider.co.uk

Is pretty much the same as Puresoul service wise.

5: YesStyle https://www.yesstyle.com/en/home.html?sscid=c1k5_t7d62&utm_source=shareasale&utm_medium=Affiliates&utm_term=2768696&aid=2768696

YesStyle is an online shop based in Korea who states when they would post your items (which is great!), they have good deals, a huge range of variety, website and check-out easy to navigate.

BUT:

I, personally will never order from this website again! Delivery took more than 5 weeks and that is after I contacted customer service 4 days after the initial postal day. Customer service said that I should wait a bit longer as they have to get the items to the main factory which is not acceptable as I already waited 3 weeks by then.

When my order eventually arrived, I received a cardigan which was much smaller than on the picture (but okay, Korean clothes usually come up smaller) and it didn’t have the pattern on I wanted! On the website, no matter which option I chose, it would always show the same picture so I thought, that’s what I would get. So that alone is very misleading, which I pointed out in another email, also asking if they would offer a return label which they denied! So I kept it as the return would have been almost as much as the cardigan itself.

Also despite my order was around £120,- I only received one sample!

So all in all with the long delivery time, wrong item, bad customer service and one tiny sample, I would not order from YesStyle again!

My go to websites are definitely Jolse because of quick delivery, samples and great deals, followed by STYLEVANA even though it takes 3 weeks for deliveries but not many samples, but great deals and discounts!